A Roller Coaster Ride.....

Today has been on of the most emotional days of my life. I had my first doctor's appt. this morning.***Let me interject before you judge me for being 14 weeks pregnant and just going today for my 1st appointment. I called my doctor in early Sept. to get an appointment and this was the FIRST available time! I was a little shocked myself but I got a prescription for my vitamins and didn't worry about it. It's not like this is my first rodeo!***
Back to today. Steven and I are in the room, the doctor comes in and asks some questions. "Have you experienced any bleeding? Any morning sickness? and so on to which I answer, "no, no, everything's been going great." She then does a physical exam. After the exam, she sits down and immediately starts telling me that "things don't look good." As soon as she said those words, my mind began reeling, so I'm not sure what she said next. I remember her saying, "no embryo sac" and "possible miscarriage." Of course I began crying, and she was very comforting. She wanted to do some blood work today and then wanted me to come back Wed. to do some more. She then asked, "Do you have any questions?" I must have given her a strange look because she said, "I realize that it's hard to think of questions at a time like this." I don't think I could have even told her my name at that moment much less form a question.
On the drive home, I would cry and then talk to Steven. He kept saying, "we just have to trust God." I knew it in my mind but I was in such shock, it din't even seem real. About half way home (my dr. is an hour away) my mind finally began thinking of questions. "Could the Dr. really tell that there wasn't an embryo sac just from a physical exam?" "Why didn't she do an ultrasound?" I decided that I would ask her these things on Wednesday. While we were driving and listening to a praise cd, one of my favorite songs came on. It was a reminder that no matter what I face, God will be there and will be exactly what I need.

As the song played, I just closed my eyes and said to the Lord, you are my strength, because I'm so weak. You are my portion, because I'm empty. You are my very present help because I am in need of so much! I could feel the sun shining on my face and I knew that the Lord was with me and that I wouldn't go through this alone.

About 5 o'clock, the phone rang, Steven had just walked outside with Caleb and I almost didn't answer it but then I did. It was my doctor. She asked me how I was doing, to which I said, I'm doing ok. Her next words were, "I think I'm going to have to eat some crow." She asked me if I realized that it was a year to the date when I had the miscarriage last fall? I told her I knew that it was around this time but no, I didn't realize that it was the exact date. She went on to tell me that before she came into the examination room today, she looked at my ultrasound. It was from this that she drew the conclusion that I was in the process of having a miscarrage. When my bloodwork came back this afternoon and the levels showed that I was pregnant, she immediately went to the ultrasound tech to look over the ultrasound. It was then that the tech told her that she hadn't done an unltrasound on me today and when they looked at the report it was dated October 27, 2007! She greatly apologized for her mistake and told me that from all indications (bloodwork and the physical exam) that I have a healthy pregnancy. I'm still going back on Wednesday for more bloodwork and a current ultasound. She kept apologizing and I assured her that I realized that it was just an honest mistake. As soon as I hung up the phone, I began sobbing, I was able to call Steven to come inside and when he came in, I could hardly speak. I finally was able to tell him the whole story and almost immediately our tears turned to laughter.

"We were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with the songs of joy. The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy."
Psalm 126:1b, 2a and 3